Fred and Marianne Ascher December 2003
Wednesday 19 September, 2007
This summer has been a tough one for all of us. My mom died, suddenly, on August 18th. She and my dad lived in Germany, and my husband and I and our dog family live in California, so things have been stretched thin across the shores, with us making two trips to Germany this summer.
During our first trip, mainly to visit and see if we could set up help for my parents, our dogs fared quite well. I mean, they missed us, but it was okay. Our exceptionally nice neighbors came over to feed them and walk all five of them twice a day, and even gave them Kongs to occupy their time. The doggie door to a securely fenced area on our property allowed for bathroom needs when they arose, so there was no problem there.
But the second trip, just over six weeks later, was a different story. We were gone the same amount of time as on the first trip, eighteen days, but when I called our neighbor, Nora, to say we were home (the second time)... she gave me a different story. She said that this time our dogs had a hard time. They were elated way beyond normal when she and her husband came over to feed and visit with them. The dogs were wild with joy and excitement. They were also more agitated, with Wakelee feeling the need to correct Baby Bernard way too often. Bus just didn't know what to do with himself, hopping up onto the chair and then back down and up again and so on. Mitzie Rose clamored onto John, wanting non-stop attention. And Wakelee would go to look out the window periodically just to see if Eric and I were driving down the driveway - when he wasn't glued to John or Nora's side. Wakelee normally doesn't make a point of staying near people. In fact, Nora said they were all staying in close proximity to both her and her husband.
Of course there was also the fact that my behavior preparing for the second trip to Germany was different from the first. I was in grief, and stopped to make horrid unusual crying sounds, which was out of the norm for me. This had visibly troubled Bus. We also left suddenly, so there wasn't the build up of preparation. And with dogs you never know. Perhaps they sensed more than just what was happening physically around them. They definitely knew something different was going on with us, but were they tuned in, even while we were gone? We don't know, of course, but dogs are pretty amazing, and definitely different from humans when it comes to perception.
My dad traveled back to California with us and is now living in Meadowlark, an assisted living facility in Yreka, about 25 miles from us. He is 83 and has had a stroke, so he moves differently from people my dogs normally see. Bernard was terrified of my dad when he first met him. It was my dad's abnormal motor skills that scared Bernard. My dad tends to just stand there, or he sits, with not much extra movement, and hardly any speech. He also wears a hat all the time to protect his eyes from glare, even in the house. When he walks it is slow and rigid, again with not much movement. This is all out of the ordinary, and often such things do unsettle dogs. So Bernard was terrified, not knowing what this 'thing' was. I imagine that when they meet the next time it will be much better, as Bernard adapts fairly easily to new stimulus.
Pinket also was afraid of my father, but when Mitzie got close for a little attention, Pinket decided that the unusual behavior was less of a risk than Mitzie Rose getting the attention he wanted, so Pinket hopped right up on my dad's lap. This delighted my father, and he petted Pinket non-stop. I can only imagine how great a warm, soft body must feel to someone who has lost his life partner of almost sixty years.
Since I have been busy getting my dad established and somewhat comfortable in his new home, I haven't had the needed time to give to my dogs. They are used to getting off leash walks in the woods, and weekends of exploring, but now life for them consists of days on end lying about the house, or one or two lucky ones ride in the car while I go to look at furniture and tvs and bedding and dishes for my dad.
Hopefully soon I can get back on track, having time and energy to spend with my dogs - and also my Dog Behavior Diary.
One glaring feeling of mine in this time of change.... if you are thinking to acquire yet another dog to add to your family, know that life does change, and ask yourself if you can provide for your dogs' needs, both physical and emotional, always. In all honesty, at this time, I feel sorely lacking in my ability to meet the needs of my five dogs. Two dogs would be easy. Hop in the car for the moving doggie tv, and then get leashed walks whenever we get the chance. Two dogs can go up to my dad's room at Meadowlark just fine and quietly hang out.
But providing for my five dogs? I just don't have the time or the energy right now. And this leaves me feeling terrible, on top of everything else!
BUT, on the other hand, there is also such joy in living with dogs...watching them playing and having fun. Last night Bus and Bernard were outside playing tug with the frisbee They were so active and full of energy, and yet they were polite with each other, which surprised me to no end! They purposefully let the other gain ground in the tug, alternating as to who was winning, and they also each let the other get the toy, all the while acting like they would fight to the bitter end for possession of the frisbee. What a joy to watch! As an old friend used to say "It makes my heart sing!"
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